Part 2

How to make your application story to win your travel reporter job*

*Provided you follow EXACTLY all these instructions and achieve extremely high results

mixed with the right physical look and sunny personality.

Thank you for answering all my questions in the questionnaire.

You are now ready to make your application story (or audition tape/disk), to show producers you are ALREADY a good travel reporter. Here's what you now do:

  1. FIRST, see examples of the kind of recording you must NOT make.
  • Look at a 2 minutes long audition tape by a bloke named Lou Perez. He acts stupidly, uses silly sexual humor, and never get around to showing you actual travel stuff. Log into: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VCrU2oWI6o Done ?
  • Next, get set for 9 minutes of stunning boredom. Log onto:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WC5HZ00MgkU&feature=related

This consists of dull pictures of Bulgaria, boring voiceover commentary, and nothing about people having fun or experiencing interesting travel. Done ?

Do Not Follow The Stupidities And Wasted Opportunites In These Tapes

  1. However I can tell you the secrets of exactly the qualities of YOU and your STORY that a TV producer will be looking for in any audition tape that is a well-made story AND a good example of YOU as a TV personality:

Your screen presence

Your camera-awareness

Your smile and easy laugh

Your articulateness

Your quick-wittedness

Your ability to share your experience with the viewer

Your potential to attract an audience.

All the usual must-haves and must-do's when appearing on-camera - from the shine of your teeth to the size of your bum, to the ability to speak a line without saying "?UMMMM?" 10 times a minute

Your level of your sexual alertness as it shines through on-camera

  1. None of which matters a damn if the producer really wants a butch lesbian in the job rather than YOU, or has really promised her boyfriend the gig, or wants someone to replace a small blond with big tits, or might choose you if you look good, except that the real decision is going to be made by David Leckie or someone else higher up.
  1. There are so many variables, I have to point out my disclaimer above:

Provided you follow EXACTLY all these instructions and achieve extremely high results

mixed with the right physical look and sunny personality.

  1. Exactly how many travel shows have you watched and recorded? Name them please. In your letter, explain fully.
  1. Do you have a sunny personality? Explain in good clear writing.
  1. Have you really assessed yourself? Please write a report in detail about assessing your on-camera personality.
  1. Have you, with a friend, done an amateur screen test on video or DVD? Please send me a copy with your letter.
  1. Have you, in your screen test, "shared the experience". This means looking up the barrel of the lens like it was your friend, and including it in everything you do, andsmiling and talking to it like a friend.
  1. How do you LOOK? Describe yourself in writing.
  1. Right now, are you excited or exhausted? Tell me in your letter.
  1. Have you gone back through all your recordings of travel shows, and picked one travel story you like and you believe you could re-create. Which one? Describe in GOOD CREATIVE writing.
  1. Is this going to be too troublesome and too expensive? Answer all these in your letter:
  • Do you really have the spare time?
  • Do you have friends, relatives or colleagues who will help?
  • You must have pay for three return airfares (you, a director/cinematographer and a sound-recordist).
  • You must have pay for accommodation and food for you three.
  • You must pay for the cost of editing and making DVD copies.
  • Have you done a realistic budget? Please send it to me.
  • Do you really have the money?